the hermit (crazyolmanjones) wrote in survivorvanuatu,
the hermit
crazyolmanjones
survivorvanuatu

Episode Two Thoughts

Wow!

I wasn’t impressed with the first episode but the second was niiice. Back stabbing, manipulating and the continued dominance of the old and fat, which bodes well for me. There’s hard core scheming going on and able manipulators on both teams. While CBS is more interested in playing up the sex angle, and desperately wants to show as much flesh as a post NippleGate society can handle, the players themselves are more interested in winning a million dollars. Go figure.

But in order to do that, they have to survive, which the men are doing despite a seeming lack of water or football. CBS, what’s up with this? After 3 days, the body just dies from lack of water, the men haven’t gotten fire to boil water to drink, yet they’re still going strong. Yeah, it’s been raining, so they could be collecting water in a pot or just turning their face to the sky, but we don’t know, there’s no indication of how they’re surviving, but we do get to constantly hear about their lack of water and how they REALLY, REALLY need to get water soon or they’re just gonna be done.

Some think Survivor is fake, but that’s hard to believe. After watching Eco Challenge, I think Mark Burnett is too much of a competitor to actually cheat, but it would be nice to see exactly how the men are getting water. It’s that whole storytelling angle, you know?

Speaking of which, do the teams have completed shelters? I saw Twilia working hard on one in-between growls on the last episode,but no mention of it this time and nothing about the guys shelter either. Strange.

Not that having water and fire would make everything ok as evidenced by the women, who do have these luxuries. It’s cold, wet, and there’s not much food around. Dolly can’t hack this though it’s only been two days. I understand that the return to the wild might be hard, but you’d think a person could last for more than two days before cracking. Twilia does a great job of comforting her, which says a lot about her, considering how much she’s looked down on the “young girls”. Either she’s super sweet, despite talking like she’d crush you or she’s got her game face on.

Yet Travis took his game face off in a one on one talk with John P? Brady? I’m not sure ‘cause the players are kinda blending together, but he’s one of the young, strong, hot guys who will not have a place in the world of old, weak, not so hot guys. Which Travis pretty much tells the Young Stud, saying he’s got four kids and wife to think about (which is pretty impressive considering Travis’s nickname is Bubba), and that Young Stud #1 is too powerful with his looks and strength. Young Stud takes this personally, wanting to know “If I had kids, would I not be a target, huh?!” Yo, chill. IT’S A GAME. You’re a target in 17 other peoples mind and they don’t need a rational reason to want you gone. Still, Young Stud#1 fumes and I suspect previously unknown gears might be turning in his head: “mmm, me must find plan now.” Travis and his four kids and wife might regret his honesty.

At the reward challenge there’s a balance beam, so you know the guys are toast. Considering that that the players had to pass each other on the beam in order to win, is it any wonder that the smaller women won? The guys shoulda looked at that beam, looked at their tribe of fat and said “forget it” ‘cause it just wasn’t going to happen. Sure, the fat people may be ruling Survivor (finally my people are in charge!) for now, but let the beams go. They will destroy you. Besides, it was just for pillows and a blanket, no since killing yourself over that.

So the ladies win and Mia takes a particular pleasure in rubbing it in the face of the guys by doing a little dance as she gets off the balance beam, Which is kinda tacky, but she’s cute so she gets a free pass. Besides it’s nice to see a bit of ribbing, but people, please remember that you’re going to have to deal with those people you’re rubbing the wrong way.

Which Rory should take note of. I’m really questioning why the hell Rory is on the show ‘cause it’s just too easy to hate him. He’s THAT office worker, then one who’s always running his mouth, eating all the donuts on donut day, drinks all the coffee but doesn’t pay into the fund and takes Casual Friday waaaaaay too casually. He’s upset with Mia’s teasing and goes on about with Lea, the drill Sergeant, almost to the point where he’s verbally attacking Lea. Rory, say it with me: Drill Sergeant. He’ll kill you with his voice alone (which he does do at the immunity challenge). But Rory’s just that type and he comes across terribly and that was in 10 minutes of him appearing on the show. I’m hoping the guys throw one, just to get rid of him. Either that or use him as bait for fish, ‘cause at least he’d be entertaining.

The guys win the blindfold-everyone-while-one-player-guides-the-players-to-find-puzzle-pieces immunity challenge thanks to Lea’s crisp and bellowing drill sergeant like instructions and in the process also get flint, which means they can make fire, boil water and finally get a drink. Uh huh.

The ladies have to figure out who to vote out and with 5 pretty young things (PYT) and 4 pretty old things (POT), it doesn’t seem like there’s any doubt. Except for Dolly , the young pretty thing sheep farmer, who can’t decide who to vote for and then tells everyone that. The PYTs decide on Leann, but the POTs are working Dolly for Eliza and gosh, Dolly is just so confused! I start to think that Dolly is just playing dumb,then I get a shot of the shorts Dolly is wearing thanks to the lingering gaze of a cameraman and realize, no, she really is that simple, ‘cause no women would wear shorts THAT short unless she was on the prowl or she’s just being comfortable ‘cause her mind doesn’t think that way. So Dolly, the simple one is the swing vote and as the ladies go off to tribal council , makes up her mind to vote out Leann, while the POTs seem intent on Eliza.

Which just makes the final 5 to 4 vote FOR Dolly all the sweeter, especially since the PYTs are clearly being thrown a curve ball and can’t believe it. But who switched sides? In one of the most bizarre and quickest sequences ever, CBS reveals that Eliza betrayed her fellow young’uns and went for Dolly, but there’s no explanation as to why. Was seduced by Leann? Threatened by Twila? Or just incredibly stupid? Tune in next week the PYTs get pissy, it rains some more and the game makes a few changes to quickly rid of people. No, I won’t tell you how, unlike CBS blatant surprise spoiling explanation.

Lessons learned this episode:

1. Fire hard.
2. Some people just shouldn’t be on Survivor.
3. But if the people in #2 have to be there, it’s better to keep the cuter one that wears short short shorts
4. ‘Cause if you don’t, CBS STILL won’t let any contestants die, not even Rory.
5. The older people are running the kids for once.
6. Which means all the cute flesh will soon be gone.
7. Which is ok, ‘cause Twila’s pretty hot.
8. And who wants a tribe of Richard Hatch looking people?
9. Eliza’s has become seduced by the power of the old and fat.
10. Or she’s the smart young stud that will redeem the young and beautiful.
11. Youth is wasted on the young.
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